As to my angry commenter: Consider it corrected. I would like to point out, however, that the comments were left for julie. My most sincere apologies to all my readers for any inconvenience my mistake made. Too bad certain other people are unable to admit they make mistakes.
I did try posting polite responses, but they are being moderated. So I will continue here.
Hugs and laughter
says it all. "Hugs and laughter" WILL NOT help my daughter talk from her vaccine injuries nor help Eve learn abstract thinking.
"It breaks my heart that you seem to feel there is not a single shining moment for your child, no loving fond memories for the baby book, no moments of joy, no pride in her accomplishments."
What a bunch of bullshit you posted. Here is your real motivation, not for Julie, Eve, or my daughter. Go off and spout your fake "caring" elsewhere:
some highlights from your website-
I have a few blogs.
I am also on twitter as safemindsquack
Index The stop jenny website
rebuttal to jenny's website
Posted at 4:22pm on Sat, Jun 20 2009
Colebeck Death by lethal vaccine
The letter circulating about the girl that died from vaccination and the rebuttal to her fear mongering.
Posted at 3:05pm on Sat, Jun 20 2009
Herd_immunity What is Herd Immunity
the wiki page on herd immunity
Posted at 2:59pm on Sat, Jun 20 2009
23519029 Vaccine Settlement no Landmark
My response (side note-my comments are not allowed on but she continues to reply on her blog to my comments.)
Thank you for posting all my links that was very kind of you. (and yes I realize you won't allow this post on your comments)
You do realize that if I had a hidden agenda I could have easily posted under a different name. All my blurbs contain disclosure statements.
As i had posted in response to Twyla's angry post to me, I did not bring up any of my beliefs as to treatment, causes etc. I merely responded to the pain and despair in the post.
You can choose to make it about my stance on autism and vaccines if you wish, I truly care not. Attack my blogs, heck you can come see me on fb and huff and twitter and myspace and sling all the mud you would like.
Your bitter and accusatory words change nothing, although they certainly do demonstrate quite clearly your merrit.
And yes, TERESSA, hugs and laughter do matter. I am sorry for you that you can not understand that.
Chris's response to the post of mine that was disallowed and my rebuttal:
And perhaps someone can explain how you are able to respond to my words, albeit a wee bit of twisting, when my response never appeared on Julie's page?
"Oh, and for Angela, I just went and looked at your blog, BTW. This is going to be long, so please forgive me.
You wonder why we are so angry. Why we slap your hands away when you "reach out" to us.
You pretty much call us liars, that's why. You say that our children's problems are not real. Their digestive issues are a figment of our imaginations."
But Chris, I was slapped before you had any idea as to my stance on autism and vaccines. For the record in no place have I posted that parents are imagining digestive problems. I don't say that parents are 'liars' although i have and will continue to point out when they do lie.
Chris continues: "I am actually not going to touch the whole vaccine argument. My own child's case is much more complicated than that so I am not even going to go into the "cause" arguments with you."
I never expected you to get into this argument. As i so stated in response to Twyla.
"Yes, doctors talk like that about digestive issues when it comes to children with autism. They do it all the time."
My doctor did not talk to me like that. Therefore your implication is untrue. I am sorry that you ran into doctors that did not respond appropriately to concerns you had for your child's health.
Chris goes on with: "For my daughter it was yeast infections ...(lots of detail I cut out about her child's health issues)...
Guess who prescribed her Nystatin for her yeast infection? That's right, one of those so-called quack DAN! doctors. Within ...(describing her daughters lack of symptoms)... REM sleep she so desperately needed."
First I did not say "No DAN doctor has ever helped any child". That being said, some of the 'treatments' being used by some DAN doctors are painful and have not demonstrated SCIENTIFICALLY to be sound. Some are actually quite dangerous.
Secondly. My child had ear infections, did not sleep, refused to potty train, had constant sinus infections, would pee in every available spot in his room, gave himself a rash on his privates from near constant fondling of his self, did not speak, did not crawl. He would wander off with strangers, throw fits that so resembled seizures that i rushed him to the hospital and often would get a fever of 103+ with no symptoms. Without any doctor, with no biomeds no lupron, no hbot, no detox, no chelation no gfcf diet (except for antibiotics for the ear infection and saline spray for his poor sinuses) all these things corrected themselves in a short amount of time. The summer before he started school he potty trained, began to speak, stopped urinating all over, slept 6 hours in a row! no more ear infections (which are common in children under 3), no more fondling himself raw.
Chris goes on to say:
"Yet people like you chastise me for treating a very real problem she did indeed have. The camera does not lie; I have photographs before and after beginning biomed of my daughter and there is a very shocking difference in her appearance. You call people like me liars, tell us that we have Munchausen's by proxy brains, tell us that we just cannot handle it that our children are not perfect and we have no love for them so we torture them with biomed - and then you wonder why we slap your hand in anger. Could you befriend someone who ridicules you, trivializes your child's (and yes your family, when your child suffers, the whole family suffers) pain and calls you a liar? That is what you are doing."
I have chastised no parent until they start using lupron with a mock precocious puberty diagnosis. This I feel is child abuse. I never said her problems were not real, nor would I ever look down on a parent for trying to help his/her child with a medical issue-unless the treatment was dangerous or unnecessarily painful. As to your photos, I have photos too that show a remarkable improvement in my child's health. He went from pale with dark circles under his eyes, too skinny by far to being healthy and bright eyed. I had not called you or people like you liars for a reason. I don't feel that calling someone a liar is correct use of the meaning of 'liar'. For even someone who spouts fibs all day does occasionally tell the truth. I do however point out when what is being said is factually incorrect, or when I disagree. I have never told someone they have munchausen's by proxy brains, not too sure what that refers to. I clearly understand from your rambling on what you imagine my stance on biomed is that you only accept positive comments from 'people like you'. You quite clearly have divided the world into distinct groups. People who completely agree with you for refusing to accept your child as valuable the way she is, people who believe that vaccines instantaneously damaged their child, people who use any sort of non mainstream medicine be it safe and proven or not VS those who do not.
How sad for you.
"I should also add that my daughter potty-trained after a few months on antifungals and good quality probiotics. She had no sense of needing to move her bowels before the probiotics. I was very pleasantly surprised. I was beginning to believe that she would be wearing a diaper into her teens. I am still pinching myself that she is completely toilet-trained when just one summer ago our carpets were covered in smeared poop."
I am glad for her that she potty trained. So is my child.
Most autistic children potty train, although not typically on par with the NT development. It's a developmental delay, not a developmental non existence.
"By the way, my daughter is FAR from recovered. She is on the more impaired end of the spectrum. She is six and has no speech. She has no pretend play at all and is spending the summer stimming at the kitchen and bathroom sinks because she is fascinated with water."
I never said your child was recovered. Julie is the one that posted her child is recovered. 'My daughter is here, yes, and I have so much to be thankful for, she is recovered!' . In your post you also say she was born in 2001 which makes her 8 not six. (bolded part does not apply as I mistook who had slapped me in the post) I am also learning from my son (who just turned 11) that imagination is there, it is just demonstrated in an atypical fashion. If stimming at the sink enjoying water makes her happy, where is the harm?
Chris continues: "The point is she feels better, and it is no thanks to "mainstream medicine". My anger has nothing to do with me not loving her; it has everything to do with her regular doctors ignoring her issues and treating her with no compassion."
I am glad she feels better. Your anger is somewhat directed at mainstream doctors yes, however Julie refers to her child as being dead, She did imply that the Evie who lives in her home is not her daughter ("rage I feel over the loss of my baby girl" "She is dead. That Eve is dead.."I want that Eve back! I want THAT Eve!"how our children are the sickest on the planet" "My daughter’s MIND, HEALTH and LIFE’S POTENTIAL were stolen") These comments clearly demonstrate her lack of acceptance for her child as she is. (note to julie: She may not be communicating fully Julie, but don't kid yourself. She may very well be hearing every word and understanding. She takes in a lot more information than you think.) Her attitude is that Evie has no value unless she can 'fix' her. that she is ill, dead, gone, sick, has not mind, no potential. I encourage you to go read what the adults who are autistic have to say about these concepts. The Eve Julie has still needs to feel love and accepted FOR WHO SHE IS, not only for who she wants her to be, what she expected her to be.
Chris writes:"You go on and on about how we dehumanize our children, how we don't see them as human beings and so we treat them for issues that don't exist. Honey, with that attitude, we will never be friends. It is the medical community who dehumanized and failed my child, not me, not her DAN! doctor, not the so-called "martyr moms" and "victims" here on AoA. I come here because for the first time I do not feel so alone. I know I am not insane. I know that my child's issues are/were real and so does everyone else here."
First I have not said you dehumanize your children, but I do in part agree with that statement. Calling your child 'dead' is most certainly not recognizing her as a living, thinking, feeling person. I have also never said that 'all those anti vax parents are treating their children for issues that don't exist' nor did I say that you, Twyla or Julie in particular are doing this. I have said that chelation therapy is dangerous and should only be used for what it is intended-to remove heavy metal poisoning. I have also stated that some quacks are providing testing that is not accurate (and provided references for such statements) in order to sell chelation to parents of autistics. I have also stated that Dr Geier's quackery of 'diagnosing' ASD children with precocious puberty then prescribing Lupron at dosage levels that EVEN the Pharmaceutical companies do not endorse is dangerous, malpractice and beyond absurd.
I also refute your statement that 'the medical community who dehumanized and failed'. A handful of doctors does not represent the entirety of the medical community. There are good doctors and bad.
I am all for treating medical issues properly. Re-occurring yeast infections should have been dealt with by the doctors you saw, I agree. Digestive issues are not a joke, I concur. I do not agree that ALL children have digestive issues, yeast infections etc. This simply is not factual. Many children who are diagnosed ASD also end up with other diagnosis. From epilepsy to anemia. These are separate issues and should be treated as such.
As for your AoA crowd, Some of the posts have provided wonderful insights and resources. The level of bitterness, rage, self pity, lack of tolerance for those who are autistic, lack of scientific credibility does indeed seem to suit you. Glad you found a niche. (Yes that is an attack)
As for offering you friendship, I did not ever think we would go for coffee, share confidences and all those wonderful things friends due. As I have stated I was merely reacting to the pain and anger in Julies post and reaching out. Why? Because it is the right thing to do. (my opinion). It's called compassion. I have been there. Most people have, at some point in their life, been consumed by anger and despair. Again, wonderful that my pointing out the positives elicited such a violent outpouring of hatred.
Chris continues with "And honestly, yes, I WOULD love to see her recovered from autism someday. Will it happen? Likely not. But someone has to take care of her when I am dead. She has four siblings who I pray will always be there for her but there are no guarantees. A cure for autism would free her up to live a life on her terms and not be at the mercy of others who may or may not be kind to her."
Julie said in her article she was recovered. (yes now I am laughing at you).(edit: For that bolded comment I do apologize. Even if it had been Julies post it wasn't neccessary to drop to chris and twyla's level of ignorance.) The very statement that you want to 'recover' her rather than you want to help her learn and grow is devaluing and a rejection of who she is. As for your declaration that someone has to take care of her... It is true that some persons who are autistic will require some level of care permanently. However, she is eight. She has barely begun her journey in life. Regardless of how slow her development seems to you, you who demands that she be on par with the typical child, she will develop and grow. She will learn. In her own way on her own schedule.
As for being at the mercy of others who may or may not be kind. Where did you get the idea that having autism is the equivalent to being at anyone's mercy? All children are at the mercy of their parents and the adults who interact with them. All children, ASD or not will have to deal with bullies, teasing and what not. Unless of course one lives in a bubble. Just like any other parent it is your job to help her have a strong sense of self so that she is able to deal with the ignorance out there. How you will manage that when you personally don't feel she deserves esteem? (Unless of course she transforms into what you perceive a 'normal' child should be.)
"Wanting a cure does not mean I do not love her. I am actually shocked that there are those who feel that way and did not know there was anyone who thought like that until I found ND and all their sites."
Perhaps our definitions of what loving a child as a parent differs. To me, loving a child is accepting them as they are while still encouraging them to learn, challenging them to be more. To me, loving a child is not synonymous with feeling they are dead, or that their very personality requires curing. To me loving a child is seeing the beauty of their innocence and striving to protect that child while still allowing them to make mistakes, experience life so that they may learn. It is learning to meet that child's needs not forcing them to meet mine. To me loving a child is joy, happiness and laughter along with worry frustration and fear. To me loving a child is encouraging them to explore the world, celebrating their accomplishments and helping them to utilize their strengths to compensate for their weaknesses. To imply she needs curing, rather than providing her with understanding is a rejection of who she is.
Hugs and laughter (you obviously are in need of some)
And just for the record Julie does say she is the mother of a recovered child: